Saturday, June 20, 2009

Bob Weston From Shellac Of North America Has No Opinion Of The Chicago White Sox

As previously mentioned, it's a surety that at least most of the gleefully-abstruse monstrously-menacing Chicago noise rock trio Shellac Of North America enjoy baseball.

Since bassist Bob Weston was kind enough to answer tenandfiveguys.com's initial question about the state of the Chicago Cubs on the first evening of Shellac's two night stint at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco, during the second concert we undertook the logical step.

During the band's mid-set question-and-answer session, we asked Weston -- who on this night was sporting an excellent Err wristband -- his thoughts on Chicago's southside team:

Q: "What is your opinion of the White Sox?"

A: "Absolutely no opinion of the White Sox." [crowd hoots and applauds] "I like Ozzie Guillen though."

Yep, the "I-have-a-mouth-that-speaks-and-god-damn-it-will" Guillen certainly is enjoyable to watch as he manages the CWS club. At worst, with Oswaldo at the helm, ChiSox fans don't have to worry about being bored.

Speaking of which, has a single MLB city ever fielded as fiery a pair of managers as Chicago currently sports with Ozzie with the CWS and Sweet Lou Piniella at the CHC? We welcome your opinion in the Comments section.

As for Weston; regarding the White Sox, he has no opinion on them. Bob is a good sport, and we thank him for his lack of opinion. No opinion. Absolutely. Read More!

Thursday, June 18, 2009

Bob Weston From Shellac Of North America Critiques The Current Chicago Cubs

Famously, Chicago's finest minimalist rock trio Shellac Of North America will hold question-and-answer sessions from the stage mid-concert while one band member or another finishes tuning their instrument.

Also famously, they once held to the claim that all of their songs were only about two subjects: baseball and Canada.

Shellac's guitarist/curmudgeon Steve Albini and bassist Bob Weston are known to be baseball enthusiasts. At press time it is not immediately clear whether the inhumanly-attuned drummer Todd Trainer is a fan.

So, at last night's concert at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco, tenandfiveguys.com put the question to Weston as he stood resplendent before the audience in his Ignignokt wristband:

Q: "What is your opinion of the current Chicago Cubs?"

A: "They need to fucking hit."

Roger-that. As of today, the Cubbies sport the fourth-worst batting average in the league at .244.

Though they will not be in the Bay Area long enough to go to a game, Weston told us after the show that Shellac will be attending the upcoming Dodgers vs Angels series in Anaheim as their tour takes them southbound. Read More!

Thursday, June 4, 2009

What Is This, a Braves Blog?


Man, for a bunch of guys (mostly) from the Bay Area we sure do write a lot about that little team from Hot-lanta. We should probably put our focus a little more on the rest of the league, right? Right.

So, now that I've got that out of the way, let's talk about the Braves a little more. But first, let's back up a minute.

Anyone who knows anything about baseball knows about the July 31st trade deadline. The hot stove rumors swirl as the date approaches, and inevitably desperate GM's swing blockbuster deals, mortgaging the farm for an over-rated veteran in an attempt to win a championship. It is an exciting time, and will no doubt bring about a few head-turning deals this season (Matt Holiday, Erik Bedard... etc).

However, there is a new deadline that has arrived. It has quietly snuck up on the sport, but is making as big of an impact as it ever has over the last couple of seasons. It is that sneaky June 1st deadline, the giant elephant in the front office of any team with less than a $100 million payroll.

Why is this date significant, and how has it risen to prominence in the last couple of seasons? Well, it works like this: If a team leaves a top prospect in the minors past the June 1st date, the season doesn't count as a year of service time for arbitration and free agency. So, if a team waits to bring said prospect up until after June 1st, they earn an extra year before they have to go to the arbitration table to pay medium bucks, and another year before the star hits free agency and prices himself out of the market.

Now, this rule has been part of the baseball CBA for while, but only recently has it come to prominence. If Curt Flood is the one we can credit/blame for baseball's free agency salaries, we can assign the same responsibility to Ryan Howard for our current situation.

It used to be that players who entered their arbitration years would sit at the bargaining table, counter-offer something slightly higher against their club's offer, and usually come to an agreement at far less than the free-agent market value would be. It was understood that this was how the game was played- that in a few years, the money would be more than made up for on the open market. Then, in the off-season leading up to 2008, Howard decided he wanted to get paid immediately. It was certainly understandable- the man had just gone .268/.392/.584 with 47 HR and 136 RBI while making $900,000 after going .313/.425/.659 with 58 HR and 149 RBI the year before. He was entitled to more. That just wasn't the way things worked.

The Phils offered him $2 million in arbitration, a significant raise. Howard countered with $10 million. Philly scoffed at the move. Howard won. And so we enter our brave new baseball world.

When the Rays left Evan Longoria in the minors last year, the fans jeered until management was forced to make a gutsy call. They avoided the whole arbitration and free agency process, offering a guy with just a handful of at-bats an eight-year deal. The Brewers did the same with Ryan Braun. It is a reaction to the new landscape of money in baseball. Which finally brings us back to the Braves.

The Braves unceremoniously cut their former ace yesterday. Of course, Atlanta never had any intention of bringing back Tom Glavine this year. Did they need another arm to bolster their rotation so they could make a run at the playoffs? Probably. But they already had one sitting in Triple-A with Tommy Hanson. They just needed to make sure they waited until June with him, to save a year on his contract. Frank Wren came out and declared "This was not a business decision, this was a performance decision," about his choice of young Tommy over old Tommy. While that is not an untrue statement, it was also a business decision, and a wise one at that.

Hanson has done, well, this so far this season (12.2 K/9, 0.86 WHIP). Glavine made a nice rehab start in Single-A and proclaimed himself ready to go again. Thanks, but I'll take the 6'6", 22 year-old with the absurd ratios.

The Braves patience has allowed them to bring in Nate McClouth, an exciting, toolsy player who might just be able to spark Atlanta's offense back to respectability (as of today, the 26-26 Braves have scored 4.4 runs/game, worst in the division- even lower than the cellar-dwelling Nationals). They save roughly $5.1 million on the Glavine/Hanson swap ($1 million owed to Glavine if activated, $4.5 in contract money minus roughly $400,000 league minimum salary for Hanson). Plus, McClouth is locked up at a reasonable price through 2011, having just signed a modest three-year deal in the off-season.

So, what does it all mean? It means that Frank Wren appears to be at least up to speed on, if not ahead of the curve when it comes to the new money rules in baseball. It also means young superstars are either going to be given huge contracts depsite being almost completely untested at the big-league level, or left to toil in the minors for the first few months of their potential breakout seasons. I'm sure it will all be addressed in the next edition of the baseball CBA, but until then be on the lookout for more of the same.

My bold prediction from all of this fallout: Glavine, spited by Atlanta, unites with Howard, the man whose actions (indirectly) created this predicament in the first place, providing a veteran, stabilizing force for the Phils who beat the Braves to the playoffs. Everyone claims retribution for Glavine.

In 2010, Hanson wins 16 and fans 200, McClouth is an All-Star and everyone realizes that hey, it's just business, and the Braves are back in it. Read More!

Monday, June 1, 2009

Lamentations: The Book of Jeff

The following Bible verse is referenced on the strap of Jeff Francoeur's left hand batting glove:
"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be terrified; do not be discouraged, for the LORD your God will be with you wherever you go." -- Joshua 1:9
Perhaps a more apposite Biblical reference for Jeff to cite would be Job 1:21:
"And said, Naked came I out of my mother's womb, and naked shall I return thither: the LORD gave, and the LORD hath taken away; blessed be the name of the LORD."
In fairness to the Sports Illustrated cover on your right, the writer does characterize Francoeur's torrid 2005 start as "impossibly hot", and he posits a fascinating metaphysical-existential intangible: Can Anyone Be This Good?

The answer, of course, is yes, anyone can be that good after 46 at bats in 15 games in the month of July. What separates the SI piece from the one you are currently ogling at is this: the former is a hagiography; the latter, a modern day jeremiad.

As such, I will not spare you the agonizing particulars. The story of Jeff Francoeur is not one that begins in the backyard and just gets better and better. It is a story that ends in Gwinnett County, Georgia, where the Lord will most certainly be accompanying Jeff as he makes his way back down to Triple-A for some much-needed remedial inculcation. Mr. Francoeur is not a Job figure in the same way that he is not particularly strong or courageous at the plate in the face of the many tests God throws Jeff's way (i.e. anything outside God's Green Strike Zone). In an ESPN article last month, Jeff had this perspicacious observation on the subject of on-base percentage to share with ESPN's Jerry Crasnick: "If on-base percentage is so important, then why don't they put it up on the scoreboard?" Francoeur says. Herein lies the locus of our lamentation.

Jeff Francoeur was something of a scout's darling. Big. Athletic. He could field. He could throw. He could hit for power. He could marry your sister. By the age of twenty, Francoeur was named the top prospect in the Braves organization by the purveyors of purity and probity, Baseball America. As the automaton composing this post has observed, scouting requires human evaluation and, consequently, is subject to human error. Francoeur was plucked out of Double-A ball in 2005 and promoted to the Braves starting lineup. In just over 100 games in Double-A, Jeff rendered an oddly unimpressive, if portentous line of .260/.296/.460 -- my sincerest apologies to my readers for posting a stat seldom seen on specious scoreboards. Jeff Francoeur has never lied to us; he is, after all, a God-fearing man. The signs were there. After a blistering July, Francoeur would cool off by September, posting an OPS of .739, a mark eerily similar to his career total of .735 -- egad! If Jeff's first full season playing at the Major League level looks familiar to you -- .260/.293/.449 -- then you have done a yeoman's job in reading this paragraph. No, then, Francoeur was not a mere gentile like Job; he was a prophet like Jeremiah. Jeff was a radical truth-teller not seen since the days of John the Baptist; and like John, he was sniped by his own acolytes portraying him as the savior of the crumbling Braves empire.

All right, enough hokum. No more blithe interpolation of mysticism within the solemn, sacred screeds of statistical certitude. The year is 2009 A.D., and Jeff Francoeur, coming off the worst year of his career in 2008, is currently on pace to eclipse that execrable year with one even more foul. His current OPS of .615 is 38 points lower than his '08 effort, in which he posted a VORP of -17.8 runs, according to the infallible robots, the custodians of stats not appearing on a scoreboard near you, Baseball Prospectus. In short, the Braves could trot out maligned-former-Giant-man Tsuyoshi Shinjo and fare better than Francoeur did last year or this year.

Making matters worse is the marked decline in his once lauded defensive play. According to FanGraphs, Frenchy posted an Ultimate Zone Rating of -4.9 in 2008 and is on pace to post one of -9.9 in the current year of his Lord, 2009. The Lord hath taken the skills wrought with honest hands and placed them in the care of one Adam Jones; or the prophet, Elijah Dukes; or Nate "the great" McLouth et al. The intrepid Frenchy braved his trials and tribulations head on, even posting a career-high walk rate of 6.1 percent during his star-crossed 2008 campaign. This year he seems to have thrown in the towel, similar to Job's resignation of his fate. Jeff and his numbers, however, never lied. He was never destined to fulfill any prophecy. Propped up by sycophants, scouts, and sportswriters across this intestate land, Jeff remained steadfastly committed to hacking at slop and refusing to take walks like a dispassionate robot might do. The prodigal son egresses from the outfield, his angels patiently awaiting his rapturous return to the minor leagues.

Semper Fidelis
Read More!